Downtown, the highlight reel

I need to write this post before we move or it will never happen. There won't be much looking back once we are finally in our new house.

It was my idea to live downtown while we remodeled our new house. I wanted a distraction, a place far from both our old house and our new house, a location that would allow us to explore new things rather than just impatiently wait for this life phase to be over.

It has definitely been different and we have kept busy and entertained.

Living downtown you might get a parade of elephants right past your front door,

or wake up on a Saturday morning to find the American Royal Parade going down your street. In many ways, this is the ultimate neighborhood - full of events and people, never a dull moment and always something new. Our neighbors are tattoo parlors and a bartending school, a coffee shop, LuLu's Thai Noodles, and Union Station. We can walk to Crown Center, and the River Market is a stroller ride away. We walk to the Sprint Center and the Kauffman Center. On date nights, Ryan and I walk to Affare and Extra Virgin. We've tried every Mexican joint on Southwest Boulevard.

 

This is the best view of Kansas City and I will never tire of taking it in from the base of the Liberty Memorial. This view was the half-way mark in my regular 3.5 mile running route from our loft.

There are some inconvenient aspects of living in an apartment building. Taking Roxie in and out three times a day with two kids in tow never got any easier. Standing in a vacant parking lot on a dark, cold Winter morning is not at the top of my list of favorite things about city living.

The kids are so used to the routine now, they race to take Roxie outside and fight over who gets to throw the poop bag in the dumpster. Oh, the stories we can tell!

I don't know if Charlie will remember walking the streets of downtown, exploring empty parking lots and the downtown urban garden, or watching the trains go by from our balcony. I hope he does.

We felt a bit cooped up in the winter and had to get creative and use the basement of our building for some play space. This long hallway served as Charlie's soccer training ground.

Being on the ground floor of our building and having this balcony made our situation work. I can't imagine how loud we would have been to someone living under us. And this outdoor space really came in handy when we all had cabin fever and needed a little room to breathe.

Parking during the snowy winter months and late at night often meant driving around looking for a spot. Trekking to the door with arms full of kids and their gear was always a challenge. Sometimes we got lucky and found "Rock Star Parking!" as Charlie liked to shout.

Our biggest challenge in this space was sleeping. Other than the master bedroom, the loft was one big open space for the kids' rooms and the living room and kitchen. Charlie learned to sleep with lights on and lots of noise. Izzy stopped sleeping in her bed entirely after the first few months. We grew tired of fighting her to sleep every night, we couldn't let her cry or she would wake Charlie and anger all our neighbors. The only thing we knew to do was bring her in to bed with us. She never left.

Living downtown was a temporary gig and a layover on the way to our new home in Kansas. Had we done things differently, bought a condo and made it our own, I think living downtown could be amazing with kids. Because we have our dream home waiting for us at the end of this journey, of course we can't wait to move on. But I can imagine living here and loving it.

I am sure our neighbors will be happy to see us go. They won't miss the yelling, crying, banging, and shouting. We were an odd sight coming and going with kids, toys, costumes, sippy cups, strollers, and soccer balls. Charlie and Izzy loved to yell and hear their voices echo in the large hallways. They always had to climb the railing next to the mailboxes in the lobby. They said hello to everyone we passed in the halls, asking them "what are you doing?" or "where are you going?" They had to pet every dog we encountered - which is no small number considering our building is essentially a hotel for dogs.

There have been some embarrassing and uncomfortable moments. There was the time Izzy threw up on the stairs just outside our building and I had to clean it all up before the 5:00 pm parade of dogs got to it.

There was the time our neighbor knocked on the door to ask us to be quiet. It was our first week in the apartment and Ryan was out of town. Thankfully those neighbors moved.

There was the time I took Roxie outside and didn't lock the door behind me. I thought Ryan had both kids in the bath. I came back inside to find Izzy standing at the front door of our building, her face pressed against the glass door crying and yelling for mommy, wearing only a diaper. Two seconds later Charlie comes racing out the door of our apartment into the lobby without a stitch of clothes on his body. One poor woman bringing her dog back in from outside witnessed it all. We're lucky she didn't call the authorities.

There was the time I lost sight of Izzy in the parking lot. It was the longest 30 seconds, and the most intense fear and panic I've ever known.

We will miss weekly dining with our good neighbors at LuLu's Thai Noodles.

Union Station has been a most gracious neighbor and always had an open door for us. We know the place so well now and took advantage of every exhibit, show, and holiday to visit.

We celebrated all of our birthdays in this space. Izzy has lived half her short life in this loft...

and we had our first broken bone while living here.

We enjoyed visiting the downtown public library and the kids' reading room was usually ours alone.

Being displaced from a home and having things in storage for almost a year would be tough no matter where we lived. I am happy we've had this experience and I think we made the most of our time. Now we are ready for our suburban home with a big yard, a garage, and neighborhood kids filling the street. I can appreciate where we've been and I'm looking forward to what's next.

Nearby parks left something to be desired, so we had the most fun running around the grass at the Liberty Memorial, standing on the pedestrian bridge over the train tracks behind Union Station, playing ball in an empty lot, and checking out the planting beds in the nearby urban garden.

Roxie has been the best sport of all through this transition. Hold on Rox, your new yard awaits!

There will be no bike or scooter riding inside the new house so I hope Charlie got it out of his system.

Thank you Downtown KC! 

This is 40

Lost in the stress and excitement of finishing our new home is the fact that I had a monumental birthday this week. Monumental.

Friends and family have been waiting for the melt down, the freak out to occur over this number 40. And with good reason -  I've never been super excited to see my birthday roll around, and I had a bit of a quarter life crisis at 30.

Life at 30 and life at 40 are night and day for me. I accomplished a lot in my 20s - traveled the world, earned my doctorate, ran 9 marathons, lived overseas. But when I turned 30 I was ready for the next phase of my life, one that would be shared with a man I loved and would include a family of my own. I'm a worrier, and at 30 I worried and worried. Worried that my Prince would never come. Worried about where my career would lead me, worried about where I would live (I had lived in three different cities in three years), worried I would miss the chance to have children of my own. At 30 there was so much uncertainty in my life, so many directions and turns yet to unfold and it was not a comfortable place for me.

At 40 I have the world on a string. I have my Prince, two lovely and healthy children, my career is rewarding and challenging, and we are two weeks from moving into our dream family home. Ten years ago, none of these aspects of my life were visible - my reality has exceeded my hopes and dreams.

This is 40. It feels amazing.

And that is all I have to say about that silly little number.

Mellow on Meadow

It has been a rough week for the future dwellers of Modern on Meadow. I can say that we met our all time low last weekend. Rock bottom.

I consider myself someone with a significant amount of mental toughness and effective coping skills. And yet, as I felt myself put to the test for the umpteenth time over this house in the past week, cracks in my armor began to show. I felt the wheels coming off and I was powerless to prevent it from happening. I was downright depressed over this house. Depressed enough to not shower for two days, to not even look in the mirror when I went out the door for the day. Depressed to the point that I went to the drugstore and stocked up on allergy meds thinking that might put a dent in the pounding ache emanating from my skull.

Many things have gone wrong with the process of renovating this house. And I know this is part and parcel of every build, every remodel. I know that. I think we've put up with our share, not without complaining to be sure. The stress and difficulty are unavoidable.

The kids have been through a lot in the last year. We all have. But for little people that really don't understand what we're doing with this renovation and why it is taking so long (the adults don't understand that part either) it is confusing and bewildering. Charlie and I had a conversation in the car yesterday that went something like this:

C: "Abraham from my school is going to go to my kindergarten with me."

Me:"Yes, he is. He is moving to a new house right near our new house."

C: "Are they tearing their house down too?"

Me: "No, not everyone tears down their house before they move in."

C: "Did the people that bought our old house tear it down?"

Me: "No sweetie, they just bought it and moved in right away. Some people do that."

C: "I want to move back to our old house."

A variation of this conversation takes place on a weekly basis.

Charlie had a really hard time with our move back in August. We moved out of our old house into the loft, and yet kept talking about and visiting our new house. At the same time, he changed class rooms and teachers at school, leaving behind a teacher he had for three years - his entire life! It was a lot all at once, too much. I didn't anticipate how hard all the change would be for him and it really took me by surprise. I am taking nothing for granted this time and want to make this second move less stressful and disruptive for him.

Part of that process in my mind has involved moving him into a great new bedroom that he would be excited about - complete with big boy bunk beds. I want him to jump with joy, smile his biggest smile, and dance around his room until he falls over. The thought of having to move Charlie into his new bedroom without carpet, without the new bunk beds in place, to sleep on a mattress on a dirty sub-floor after all this time brought me to my knees last weekend. I had come to terms with the possibility that the deck might not be done, the shower tile might not be in, some lights will be on back order. But having the kids' rooms unfinished - and carpet (CARPET?!) being the reason - pushed me to the limit.

We spent the weekend shopping for carpets and I am now an expert on pile, loop, and shaggedy-shag carpet. I found one I like and there is a possibility it just might arrive before we move in. I'm not going to hold my breath, but I will hold out hope. I am feeling positive again. I'm coming back up from rock bottom and I'm starting to feel really excited to be in our home in a few short weeks. I know kids are resilient and Charlie will be fine, carpet or no carpet.

I know we are incredibly fortunate to be building our dream home. I know it will all be worth it. I want to say thank you to all our family and friends for all your encouragement, for listening to us complain, and for supporting us through this process. We are incredibly fortunate for our future home, and for all our family and friends whom we hope will visit Modern on Meadow often and feel compelled to stay awhile. Very soon we will have a deck with a view. Very soon we will be home.

Modern on Meadow Remodel Tour - the home stretch

I've been dreaming about the day our kitchen cabinets would arrive for what feels like forever, and now that day is here.

The cabinet 'boxes' as they are called, are being put in place and secured so counter top measurements can be made (despite what you see on HGTV, this whole process does not take one afternoon, but several weeks).  They will leave the cabinet fronts off until the very last minute in order to protect the wood. It will be worth the wait to see the finished look. Appliances arrive June 18!

I wish I could say that we are nothing but thrilled about the prospect of moving in in just a few short weeks, but actually we're feeling really stressed. The house is far from being done, subcontracts are still coming back above budget at this late date, and I'm afraid we're going to move into a house that is half-finished and barely paid for. I could paint a rosy picture, but I promised to tell the good and the bad here and so I will. I'm sure this level of stress and uncertainty is part of every major remodel. I don't know how you can go through this process without any stress or disappointments. The good news is that it will be over one day. One day very soon.

When we toured the house on Tuesday there were 4+ guys working on the kitchen cabinets and another 2 working on the steel that will wrap the fireplace. They were framing it in on site and fitting it into the space and then will take it back to the workshop to finish and shine the surface. I wasn't sure about the steel surface during the design phase, while our team of guys (including Ryan) was very enthusiastic about it. I have warmed up to the material and think it will be beautiful and striking against the white walls and light floors.

I like how these shelves are split by the bedroom door. It will be fun to add to them slowly with things we love and treasure. I plan to put my favorite books on the bedroom shelves.

The master bathroom cabinets are in place - finally our own sinks! We've been sharing a sink for the first 5 years of our marriage and this might be a game changer for our marital happiness. As you can see, we still don't have any tile...another source of major stress right now. We had to order new floor tiles for the bathrooms, pantry and mudroom as well as the master shower. The tile is set to go in next week (arriving on site Friday) but the master tile shower will be even later and we haven't been told when it will be delivered.

Our architects patiently tell us this is part of the process when building custom and with specialty tiles (the shower tiles are coming from Spain. I really shouldn't complain, I know.) But I wish they had given us some warning that we might not get the tiles we picked out in January and were emotionally attached to from a far...this is all such a learning process. And I don't ever want to do it again, for the record.

Shelves are going in the master closet...

The reveal on the stairway - the picture from last week is on the left, and the finished reveal is on the right. The wood will eventually be painted white, making the reveal pop even more.

Paint - another source of stress. Ryan was going to paint the interior, but because they did not have the drywall and trim done in time, there is no way he can paint the entire interior of the house in three weekends (he didn't like the suggestion to quit his day job). So now we are going to have someone paint the interior, a cost savings we were really counting on.

The deck - this Spring has been incredibly wet and they've been waiting for a dry stretch to dig up the entire yard and put in the new deck columns. We're planning a sunken courtyard for beneath the deck that will require some excavating and everyone is trying to avoid turning our backyard into a giant mud pond. But I'm starting to get really nervous that we will move in with a second story drop off from the back of the house. Not great with two toddlers! Or even worse, that we might not get permission to move in without the deck in place. I don't even want to think about that scenario right now. Let's hope for a stretch of dry warm days so this exterior work can get done.

I know once we are in our house and these worries are in the past we will forget them and say it was all worth it. We are doing our best to stay positive during this final stretch. There is a lot to do to pack up our loft and get ready to move, so the time will go quickly. We're in the home stretch...

Check out this previous post to see the height of the remodel mess and our original tile selections...